The Anger Fallacy: Uncovering the Irrationality of the Angry Mindset
Steven Laurent and Ross G Menzies
Today, this book's message for all of us is as vital and relevant as ever.
The anger and division we see today so freely expressed on our screens and the streets of our cities and suburbs may sweep us up in emotion, compelling us to take our stand and join our angry voices with others. After all, how else do we create the change we want? Surely our anger is right and we must use it to drive action and strongly oppose those who disagree?
Well, actually, all anger does is hurt both your mental health and the health and wellbeing of those around you. It is rarely ever helpful to one’s own benefit, let alone any discussion, debate, or argument toward solutions. Its destructive effects are much more toxic than previously acknowledged. In fact, when we are angry, we hold an irrational mindset that blinds us to self-righteous judgements propelling our behaviour in all the wrong ways.
But it isn't always easy to avoid getting angry, especially when we see something we believe needs to be stopped, changed, solved, or avoided.
So, to help ourselves and the complex world in which we live, we need to learn more about anger, its uses, its origins, and how
we might substitute empathy and understanding in its place. We need to
learn why we get angry and how to try and lessen and remove our anger to be more effective agents for change in our own lives and those of others.
So why not make a small investment in good mental health and a better world? Buy a copy of the Anger Fallacy today.
" This is a book meant to challenge us. The authors have taken such an engaging and witty approach that the reader is likely to get hooked and will stop to think — to reflect. The humorous story is a device, along with creative metaphors, analogies and dialogue scripts, which the authors use to convey the compelling logic of their argument about the counter-productiveness of anger. I strongly recommend this book. If you are suffering
— Adjunct Professor Roger Dooley, Clinical Psychologist
"An excellent and most importantly contrarian view, challenging conventional views of anger. This book provides insightful angles on anger, and what lies beneath it.”
"
"As a clinical psychologist, I can honestly say this is the finest book on anger I have ever explored.”
"Good, clear writing and a must needed message. I give this book to everyone I care about."
"I find most books written by psychologists to be overly theoretical, technical, and written solely for other academics. The beauty of the Anger Fallacy is it takes the complex concepts of anger and presents them in a way that everyone can understand."
"Excellent, informative and insightful. I unhesitatingly recommend this."
"This is more than just a book of ideas. It is a genuine therapy tool. Practical exercises are scattered throughout the book. If someone reads this book to help them deal with anger better they are likely to finish up dealing with anger better. And isn't that the whole point?"
"This is such a good book — I have started recommending it to anyone who is struggling with being angry. It is easy to read, non-judgmental, and helpful.”
Anger makes your thinking automatic and primal
If you are extremely angry, then, as with any intense emotion, you won’t be able to think clearly because you are in a state of acute distress. Countless studies have shown that decision-making under stress is more rigid, that fewer alternatives are brain-stormed and considered, and that people fall back on previous familiar responses (e.g., smashing a tennis racket, repeating themselves, swearing, stamping their feet) regardless of more recent learning on the topic (e.g., that smashing the racket results in a penalty fine and loud booing, that stating your case softly and clearly is better than yelling the same thing over and over using expletives, etc.). So anger affects cognitive processing and interferes with the ability to solve complex problems or think on your feet (especially creatively).
This sounds technical, but really it’s common knowledge that anger impedes clear thinking, which is why anger is often used as an excuse for bad behaviour: ‘sorry, I know I shouldn’t have done that [kicked the cat, smashed the laptop, used foul language in front of the kids, etc.] — I was really pissed off’. Anger makes you rash. Anger is considered an attenuating factor in murder, the defining feature of crimes of passion, as if to say even our legal system acknowledges that none of us really acts sensibly when pissed off. It won’t have escaped you that in anger one’s vocabulary tends to shrink back to a few default expletives, shorter sentences, and a lot of repetition, lending itself to some less-than-Shakespearean monologues. Dr Laurence J. Peter famously quipped, ‘Speak when angry’, ‘and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret’.
The great cognitive psychologist Aaron T. Beck described the mental state we get into when angry as ‘primal thinking’ — a kind of low-resolution red-alert mode that occurs when we are faced with what we perceive to be an attack. We tend to form ‘always’ and ‘never’ generalisations — ‘you’re always criticising me; you never listen’; ‘you’re always throwing your stuff on the ground’; ‘all you’re ever interested in is squeezing more money out of me’. We think in terms of black and white, we lock in on the negative, we pick and choose from what we see to construct a picture of an ‘enemy’. Beck says, ‘Primal thinking is adapted for emergencies that do not allow time for reflection and fine discrimination.’
There’s no doubt it could help you move a heavy rock or bash down a door. It might enable Andy Roddick to belt out a first serve 10 miles an hour faster than usual, and it might help an unskilled fighter flail about with reckless abandon. What it won’t help you do, however, is to find alternatives to shoving the rock or bashing down the door, or tools to leverage it open, or social strategies for inciting others to help you. It won’t help Roddick hit the right shot at the right time. And it won’t help the skilled fighter fight strategically.
About the Author
Steven Laurent is a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in treating psychiatric disorders. He is a regular guest lecturer at the University of Sydney, where he has taught on Mood Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, and Drug and Alcohol Disorders. At present he works in private practice in the Inner West of Sydney. Steven completed a Masters in Clinical Psychology at UNSW, where his thesis centred on emotion perception in 'psychopaths'. Laurent's interest in anger arose in the 1990s during the completion of undergraduate degrees in Philosophy and Formal Logic at the Sorbonne in Paris.Ross G. Menzies has been providing cognitive-behaviour therapy for anxiety, depression, couples conflict and related issues for over two decades and is currently Associate Professor in Health Sciences at the University of Sydney. He is an active researcher and currently holds over $5 million in national competitive research grants. He has produced four books, over 140 international journal manuscripts and book chapters and is regularly invited to speak at conferences and leading universities and institutions around the world. He continues to attract patients from across metropolitan Sydney, rural NSW, interstate and from overseas, with many individuals and families travelling thousands of kilometres to receive treatment at his private practice. The present book is his first major work on anger.
Reviews
FROM amazon.com
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is such a good book, July 20, 2014
By nicdea
This is such a good book - I have started recommending
it to anyone who is struggling with being angry.
It is easy to read, non-judgemental, and helpful.
It helps put a lot of difficult emotional stuff into
perspective.
Help other customers find the most
helpful reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great read, March 28, 2014
By Margot
As a clinical psychologist, I can honestly say this is
the finest book on anger I have ever explored. Witty, fun, and filled with
engaging facts about anger, this book has the potential to really change
people. It challenges conventional thoughts on anger and how to deal with it. A
thoroughly modern treatment on the darkest of all emotions. Highly recommended.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Everyone should read this book, March 28, 2014
A potentially life-changing book, reading this really
challenged some ideas I had about anger, and human emotion in general. It's
interesting that anger is one of the most basic and common human emotions, yet
most people have never really thought or read much about it. Although I don't
usually read books like this, I found The Anger Fallacy surprisingly accessible
and very enjoyable - I even found myself literally laughing out loud at some
points! Everyone should seriously read this book, not just the angry. Although
I am thinking of buying some extra copies for certain friends who come to
mind...
5.0 out of 5 stars
Highly recommend for clinicians and their patients., January 31, 2014
By JB -
I am a psychiatrist. While I trained at a highly
regarded Ivy League residency program and have since kept abreast of the
literature, I have always felt insufficiently prepared to assess and manage
anger in my patients. Anger doesn't have a home in our current diagnostic
system, yet it is so often associated with nearly every disorder that we treat
and even causes significant harm in individuals who present without satisfying
criteria for any diagnosis. While occasionally anger subsides in the
successfully treated borderline, bipolar, depressed, anxious, or paranoid
patient; even after syndromal remission it often continues to cause our
patients suffering and interpersonal impairment. I have too often been at a
loss at how to help these patients with their anger as well as how to help
those patients presenting with a primary complaint of anger without other
symptoms. We don't have a medication specific for anger and it has never been
quite clear to me how to best address it with psychotherapy... until now.
The Anger Fallacy is one of the best treatment books
that I have ever read. Uniquely, it is a tremendous resource for both patients
and clinicians. It is accessible and amusing such that patients need not be
overwhelmed, yet sophisticated and layered to the point that I have found
myself continuously harvesting pearls after multiple readings. Written in
elegant and sprightly prose, this book tackles anger from all sides, squeezing
the life out of it with logic, appeals to pragmatics, cognitive reframing, and
humor. The multidimensional approach makes it adaptable to nearly any patient and
the colorful examples make each lesson easy to retain and fun to recount.
Several times already, I have had success using examples from the book in my
practice; then once the patient's attention was captive, I managed to persuade
them without difficulty to read the book. Each time they thanked me for the
recommendation.
This book could greatly benefit anyone who has
struggled with anger, knows an angry person, works with angry people, or who is
interested generally in transcending the negative thoughts and emotions that we
all occasionally buy into to our own detriment. I congratulate the authors on a
superb addition to our clinical arsenal.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very insightful, January 30, 2014
By Andsome
I've read many books on Anger "management",
this is the first which has given me many insightful thought provoking ideas
and tools to assist me in the most comprehensive way to conquer anger and my
general tolerance of the important people of my life.
Thank you. Mr. Laurent and Mr. Menzies.
Fantastic Read. Highly recommend it to even the most
passive.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book!, January 30, 2014
By Lavie S.
As a avid tennis player, I find myself in situations
where I may get angry and this book was quite helpful. Great read.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Best anger management book I've read, January 29, 2014
By Unraged
I've suffered from having a short temper throughout my
life, and have even seen a therapist about it (which was a total waste of money
and time). So I've tried a couple of these books before, but none have managed
to change anything in my life. In this book they seem to have ACTUALLY
understood the thoughts that cause anger and how to treat it, instead of
offering nonsense advice, such as "just relax" or "get more
exercise". Recommended for anyone who's been told they need anger management
– and it's certainly cheaper than therapy or pills. It's also a prtetty good
read, with even a few "laugh out loud" moments.
Table of Contents
- About the authors
- Acknowledgments
- 1. Anger is everywhere
- 2. But anger gets results ...
- 3. But anger motivates me ...
- 4. But anger is part of my image ...
- 5. Shoulding: The cognitive basis of anger
- 6. What are you really angry about?
- 7. Anger Treatment 101: Get your facts straight
- 8. Anger Treatment 102: The arbitrariness of 'shoulds'
- 9. Anger Treatment 103: Seeing the machine
- 10. Anger Treatment 104: The empathy solution
- 11. Getting past unfairness
- 12. Respect: A closer look
- 13. Recap and conclusion
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